Packing up and moving on

Hi, ya'll! I have finally moved the blog over to Wordpress, where it can be friends with the Couple Blog (www.sabrinaandjaryn.wordpress.com) and live happily ever after. :) Go there!

www.buttegirl.wordpress.com

She Shoots She Scores

Hi guys! It has been a ridiculously long time since I updated, and for that I sincerely apologize. It's not like I've been terribly busy, I was just having a hard time finding things to write about. Jaryn and I have started a "Couple Blog" (or Coupre Brog, if you speak Engrishee) over at www.sabrinaandjaryn.wordpress.com and we took some heat for our posts about education. Apparently, pointing out differences in Korean and American education makes us racist. Ugh. Whatever. So I've been reluctant to post what I'm thinking, since Korea, while definitely not hell, isn't exactly the land of rainbows and sunshine either, and I'm pretty open with my opinions.

I have a list next to me of the "Top 20 Confusing Things About SoKo I Will Never Understand," but I don't feel comfortable posting that quite yet. I don't understand why despite the amount of bleach I use, my bathroom drain still smells like something Neville Longbottom f'ed up in Potions class. Does that make me racist? Really? Anyway...

Jaryn recently expressed an interest in watching and understanding hockey, because he has picked up on the fact that hockey is pretty freaking important to the girlfriend. While sending him the link to "How Hockey Works" I realized that hockey and Korea have a lot in common. No, seriously. Seriously. Just read it.

Top Ten Ways South Korea is Like Hockey, Eh:

10. Have you ever been to an NHL game? It. Is. LOUD. Have you ever been to a grade school in Korea? Huh? *hand to ear* WHAT? You'll have to yell your answer over the 36 hysterical children hitting each other with pencil cases... Blogger won't let me post photos in the right place, so that photo up there is what my classroom looks like. I should really try to capture some audio...

9. Only 2.4% of the population of Seoul is foreign-born, and Seoul is the place to go for foreigners. In the rest of Korea, the number is significantly lower. This means that if you have say, I dunno, orange hair and blue eyes, you stick out like - I can't even think of a better simile. You stick out like a girl of Irish descent surrounded by 50 million Asians. As NHL.com informs me, on the HOCKEY IS FOR EVERYONE portion of their website, "Of the 33 minority players on starting rosters, 16 are black, 7 are Native/Aboriginal, 4 are Asian, 4 are Hispanic, 1 is Inuit, and 1 is South Asian/Indian." There are 974 players in the NHL, and 33 starters are of minority descent. Hockey and Korea are ridiculously homogenous.

8. When you go see a hockey game, and you get hungry or thirsty, you are confronted by a whole bunch of stalls that sell, essentially, the same 5 things. And there's A LOT of beer involved. When you get hungry in Korea, you're confronted by thousands of restaurants that sell, essentially, the same 5 things. And there's A LOT of beer and soju involved. At least it's cheap.

7. Ah, it's time for "The Great One." I adore you, Mr. Gretzky. Did you know that Wayne holds 61 records? They changed the Hall of Fame rules for this guy. Dude is badass. Korea has their equivalent of Gretzky.... the Joseon Emperor. Pretty much everything is credited to the Joseon Dynasty, which existed from 1392-1897. You may have invented bulletproof vests and been able to accurately predict astronomical phenomena, Korea, but how's your slapshot?

6. If you're in Canada, and you make the poor choice of telling someone you're not really into hockey, there's a high likelihood that the Canuck to whom you're speaking will look at you like you just suggested poutine is not magical. (It is, by the way.) If you're in Korea, and you tell Koreans that (honestly, despite your best efforts, and trying it every day for 4 months) you don't really like kimchi, it's like you just suggested that rotting vegetables in shrimp sauce doesn't taste good. Cause that's what you just did. National pride is a pretty big deal.

5. Brutish behaviors are rampant in both hockey and Korea. The difference is that if you push someone without cause in the NHL, it's called a penalty, and in SoKo, it's called a normal Wednesday escalator ride. I have dug deeper, and made more comparisons for your enjoyment. If you live here too, I urge you to carry a whistle and call these when you see them. Roughing: occurs when a foreigner tries to exit an elevator before the Koreans have. High Sticking: when an umbrella-wielding ajuma ("auntie") nearly removes your eye/nose ring/teeth with the pokie things on the ends. Too Many Men on the Ice: when riding the subway becomes a very intimate experience and you can count the pores on a stranger's face. Checking: in the NHL, it's a push, in Korea, it's that intense inspection look you get, like you're going to rob a bank at any moment. Icing: When a girl in 5 inch heels (who's probably wearing shorts and tights, in February, mind you) clutches to her boyfriend like a drunken sailor because she can't walk in the snow.

4. In 1955, Maurice "The Rocket" Richard pretty much attacked a linesmen from the opposing team in Quebec. The non-French-Canadian head of the league suspended the very-French-Canadian Richard (it's pronounced "Ri-SHARD) and the public was outraged. Have you ever seen French people upset? The Richard Riot, as it's called, must have been a doozy. In September of 2009, a Korean-American character by the name of JaeBom was dismissed from the incredibly sassy boyband 2PM for comments he made on his MySpace, suggesting that Korea is not all sunshine and rainbows. Twelve-year old girls were crying in the streets. See? Hockey and Korea both have ridiculous, ethnically-fueled riots. That one was a stretch.

3. Have you ever smelled a hockey player right after a game that went into double-overtime? Have you ever walked down a Korean street, past a Juk (porridge) restaurant on garbage day? (Remember, there's no such thing as a dumpster here. Trash gets piled next to streetlights and columns.) Breathe deep, ya'll.

2. A lot of people don't like to watch hockey on TV because it "goes too fast" and they can't keep an eye on the puck. It's a quick game, for sure. As "the Korean" from www.askakorean.blogspot.com points out (freaking brilliant blog by the way), "In 1962, per capita GDP of Korea was $87. Forty-five years later in 2007, per capita GDP of Korea was $24,783." Korea went from bombed-out hellhole to having one of the top 15 economies in the world in a very short time. Everything here moves so quickly! Jaryn and I like to joke, whilst walking past a new construction site, that we should come back in 20 minutes to see the finished product. It moves like *snap* that!

1. Despite how nutty they are, (dudes with sticks? on iceskates? No helmet law until the 70s? Red lights are optional? Peanut butter-ed squid snack? Size 8 = obese?) I honestly love both hockey and Korea. The sheer insanity makes me appreciate them more. They truly make me happy.

I'll try to write more often, ya'll... I've been here for 9 months (ohmygod!) and I'll be back in June/July, so I need to pack in as much kimchi-riddled goodness as I can, while I can. Thanks for reading!

Today's Lesson: When you're doing tricep dips at the gym, make sure the bench that's behind you, that you're putting your weight on, is stable. Otherwise, you could fall flat on your ass in front of 10 Korean men.

It was funny.

Pilgrim Brina

Hi, ya'll. Happy Thanksgiving! I am celebrating by sitting in my freezing office. Later, I will teach some kids to say "I like apples" for the 200th time. Then, I will make some potatoes and eat them by myself. Can you tell that I miss home a little? What are your plans?

I tried to explain American Thanksgiving to my 6th graders, and with the aid of a whiteboard, stick man pilgrims, and a very post-impressionist imagining of Massachusetts, I think I got through to a few of them. It helped that July was there to explain all of my excited scribbles in Korean.

A couple of years ago, I had the pleasure of visiting Cape Cod and the Massachusetts coast; I went to the Plymouth Plantation Museum and got to go aboard an accurate replica of the Mayflower. For a history nerd like me, that was pretty badass. I used my experience to help explain Thanksgiving to the kids... if you've never heard 36 Korean children attempt to pronounce "Wampanoag Tribe," I recommend you find a way to do that. Also suggested for prnounciation: "Scarves and gloves" and "Miss Holland."

So, as I was reflecting on the 1620 expedition the English made to my (much-missed) colonial homeland, I realized that there are more than a few things in common between the Wampanoag/Puritan interactions and those between Sabrina/Great MostHonor Glory South Korea. It's a stretch, I know, but as a teacher, I get paid big bucks for establishing connections between art/literature/history and life. *snicker*

These are Ten Similarities Between the First Thanksgiving and Sabrina's SoKo Adventures:

10. Did you know that the Pilgrims were aiming for what is now Virginia when they came to what is now America? Virginia is a lot warmer than Massachusetts. But whoops! They ended up in Provincetown Harbor. When Sabrina decided to leave America (special thanks to the election of Obama) there were choices to be made. I was originally aiming for Scotland or England or Canada or Germany, but I ended up in South Korea. This has been worked out rather well for both the Pilgrims and myself. Sometimes whoopsies turn into hoorays.

9. The Pilgrims were on the Mayflower for 66 days before they landed in Cape Cod. I was on a plane for like 17 frickin hours. See? Same same.

8. After 66 days at sea, the Pilgrims probably got to know each other pretty well. They were, literally, all in the same boat. But as they established themselves in my beautiful homeland, they probably drifted away from some of their boatmates, yeah? Yeah. When native English teachers move to Korea, they end up befriending people because of geography and communication. They're figuratively in the same boat, so connections are established quickly. But as I can verify, and one establishes oneself, some of those connections fall away. And this can be a good thing; friendships should probably be based on more than proximity.

7. I wonder if somebody told the Pilgrims that America was the land of milk and honey; that existence would be simple, fulfilling, and much like England. And I hope that the Pilgrims punched whoever that somebody was in the face. When pondering my move to Korea, I was told a few things that are untrue: schools are similar to America! Your teaching degree and experience will be beneficial! The food is amazing and you'll be in heaven as a vegetarian! It smells good! Hmmmm. *raises fist*

6. The Pilgrims landed near Provincetown because they were out of beer. True story. Sometimes when I drink Korean beer, I ponder how much nicer it would be to be trapped on a boat for 66 days and then exist with modest shelter in a foreign, frozen land. It's bad, guys.

5. The Pilgrims must have had some idea what they were in for, because they packed all kinds of useful things on their giant boat (except enough beer! *smacks head*) . But when they got to MA, they were baffled. They struggled to grow English plants, to cultivate native plants, build shelter out of the available wood supply, etc. Same with Sabrina, ya'll. I packed all kinds of shiz, and then got here and was baffled and had to figure out a million things. Most of my clothes were useless. I should have brought more shoes. And customs be damned, I should have brought beer.

4. Because this is sounding a little negative, I feel that I should point out that this 1620 adventure business turned out pretty well in the end, with the notable exceptions of Native American physical/cultural decimation and that whole witch trial business. I think we're all thankful that, even though there were numerous bumps along the way, America was colonized. And even though I whine a lot and get frustrated sometimes, at the end of the day, I'm ridiculously happy that I am here. When I look back at the end of the day and at the end of my year here, I am and I will be incredibly thankful.

3. When the Pilgrims and the Wampanoags sat down for that first dinner, I bet they were pretty confused. They probably whispered things to their friends like, "Where the hell do I sit?" "How do I get that bean/squash thing onto my plate?" "Is it acceptable to pour out some mead for my dead homies?" etc. Manners clearly vary from culture to culture. I was baffled about Korean manners when I got here, but have now learned to give and receive with both hands, pour for others, and not put chopsticks up my nose. Hopefully I can introduce the practices of noiseless gum chewing and covering one's sneezes to Korea.

2. Speaking of that first dinner, what do you think everyone thought of the food? The Native Americans of the area cultivated corn, beans, squash, nuts, etc. I bet the Pilgrims, while used to boiled sausages, boiled potatoes, and boiled vegetables in their homeland (mmmmm...English food!) were very thankful for the food given to them by the Wampanoag. But I bet some of them didn't like it. Same here, ya'll. I'm thankful to have the opportunity to try all of this weird stuff, and Koreans are really hospitable, but it's just not... it's not for me. Kimchi is uh, almost too good, so... yeah, you can just keep it.

1. When you really think about it, it's pretty amazing that the Pilgrims made that long, scary, arduous journey, arrived here with some of them still alive, established homesites, and managed to thrive. Wow. They arrived in December, and half of those who survived the voyage were dead by spring. If they can manage that, I can probably get through a year in Korea, eh? All I have to deal with is crappy beer, kimchi, an underwhelming job, and a two-hour daily commute. Comparatively, my life is a piece of kimchi cake.

So, at the end of the day, I'm a thankful girl. I am thankful for this opportunity, for my family, for Callie, for the fact that Korean customs folks overlook packages of macaroni and cheese, for the availability of American Vogue, for my guitar, for electric blankets, for super happy Korean children, Everland, and my coteacher. And I am ridiculously thankful for Jaryn. My fellow American and I are looking forward to an excellent Christmas together.

Go draw an outline of your hand and make it a turkey.

Today's Lesson: even if you are from America and are a native English speaker, some Korean children will continually correct you when you speak of eating turkey. "Not turkey, Sabrina Teacher! Eating turkey? Americans are eating of the CHICKEN!!!" They will shake their heads at your lack of knowledge, the little Yodas.

WTK?!

WTK is my new favorite expression that I made up. It means "What the Kimchi?!" I say it when things in Korea baffle the shit out of me. As you can imagine, I say it frequently, and sometimes while I am even trying to consume kimchi. I should also note that I have begun to use "kimchi" as an all purpose swear word, because it is that awful. I may have even yelled it when I broke my toe.

I thought that after a few months (sidenote: Brina has been in Korea for 5 months, ya'll. 5! When did that happen?) things would get less bizarre, and I would be less and less confused by the most honor great nation glory Rep. of Korea. Alas, I was clearly mistaken. Things get weirder every day, and make less and less sense. Here are...

Ten things in my life right now that are baffling:

10. When the bus or the subway is filling up with people, I'm usually one of the last people to get a seat-mate, for whatever reason. Maybe foreigners are scary; I am the ginger sasquatch, after all. Anyway, when I do get a seat-mate, it's never the nice girl who appears to be my age, clean, and disinterested in what I am doing. Oh no... it's the soju'd up, 60 year-old dude in a fishing vest. Always. And me fiddling with my iPod is suddenly the most interesting thing in all of Korea.

9. Do you know what a "sick day' is? Can you do me a favor and tell my school? Because the vice principal was pissed that I had to take a day off when I broke my toe. I couldn't walk from my bed to the door, let alone to the bus terminal and then to school. I was informed that I should come to school, and that sick days must be approved of 2 weeks in advance by the principal. WTK? I stayed home and put kimchi on my foot since it apparently cures everything.

8. Dumpsters can be a beautiful thing. I understand that walking around SoKo is kind of like a video game, in that one has to avoid the piles of trash heaped at the bases of buildings/lightposts/bridges, and that getting dumpsters would take that joy (and some of the smell) away, but I think I will give you a dumpster for Christmas. To: Seoul, From: Sabrina. *hugs!*

7. If your Halloween costume implies that you have sex for money, people will think that you have sex for money on other days of the year, too. Do you not understand this, naughty whatever-the-hell's you were? How about don't be a skank? Just write it on your hand in case you forget. And if you doubt that you can show a tasteful amount of skin, still be adorable, and not have to be a total hobag on Halloween, I offer exhibit A. --------> See? Even though Jaryn dresses like a skank almost every day, he managed to class it up a little for Halloween.

6. Masks. Ugh. Korea is swine flu crazy, and to "prevent" the spread, lots and lots of people here are wearing masks, despite the fact that they are one of the most ineffective ways to prevent disease. Here are some thoughts from Dr. Sabrina: 1) How about don't share twenty tiny bowls of food between everyone at your table and poke your just-licked chopsticks in the communal dishes? 2) How about wash things with HOT WATER? 3.) How about if you're going to wear a mask, make sure it covers your nose? 4) How about COVER YOUR FREAKING FACE when you sneeze or cough? I'm not making this up, ya'll. This stuff happens.

5. Due to the swine flu, a lot of schools around here closed for a bit, including mine. But that doesn't mean what you think it does. It means that the kids didn't have to come to school, but that the teachers did. For days and days, I sat in my freezing classroom with nothing to do. I got paid to knit. Eventually they told me I could use a couple of my holiday days and spared me the 2 hour commute to the empty school.

4. I've seen a few more ridiculous shirts lately... surprise. These are awesome in their bafflement. Highlights include this gem (yes, that says GIRLIE BAR. Yes, she's 10.) and a 4th grade girl wearing a Sapporo shirt today (that's a beer.) Also of note, a CAPTAIN PAPA shirt, one that said WHO THE F*** IS MICK JAGGER? and one that said simply DIAMONDS SCANDAL!

3. If you're looking for weird behavior, an ideal place to go in Korea, just like in America, is the bus terminal. Within the past few weeks I have seen: a man walking around with a plastic bag tied around one of his feet, a possibly drunk woman fall violently asleep upon my boyfriend, a brass grenade for sale, a broccoli-themed handbag, several Jehovah's Witnesses, and two foreigners carrying a pumpkin (oh wait! That was Jaryn and me!)

2. Men get perms here! Did they not learn a lesson from when my dad did that in like 1975? The perm heard round the world? It was tragic, people.

1. I am consistenly amazed and confused by the fact that I am in love. When I see Jaryn, it's like getting hit by a big sparkly MACK truck that instead of leaving you injured gives you superpowers.

I promise I'll update more often... I am a busy girl. Tomorrow I am going to Gyeongsan, and then back to the beach in Busan for Jaryn's birthday! I will have plenty to write about my adventures, I am sure.

Oh! Also, if you would like a slightly different perspective on teaching in Korea, but can't imagine reading about it unless there are pictures of and references to Sabrina involved, please check out Jaryn's blog: www.jaryn-timetofacemylife.blogspot.com

Today's Lesson: if the goalie who pretty much singlehandedly kept you out of the playoffs and who is inexplicably still on your roster this year manages to get swine flu, take it as a sign and don't ever play him again and just let Craig Anderson be amazing. Thanks, Avs. Love you!

Sabrina Taps Her Nose. Again.

You know what it means when I do that, right? I am THINKING. I have been avoiding the blog a little because so many things are happening in my life, and I'm not sure how to convey it all. So I'm tapping my nose and I'm trying to figure out how to write it down. Can I just tell you about all of the awesome stuff already? Here we go:

Ten excellent occurences in Korea since last time we spoke:

Oh! Before you start reading, I offer the disclaimer that I'm ridiculously happy with my relationship, and a lot of the following involves me gushing and blushing and twirling my dress around, preparing to skip. Jaryn is great. Deal with it. :)

10. As my friend Cecilia pointed out, you're not really dating someone in Korea unless you have sticker pictures. Good call! Whilst visiting Everland (more on that later) Jaryn and I managed to get this done. Are you familiar with photo booths? Because in Korea, sticker pictures are like photo booths that go to 11. You pick a bunch of poses and formats, take the pictures, then go outside the machine and edit them and add glitter (whee!) and hearts and all kinds of crazy shit. I need to find a way to share these... One set involves me pouring wine into a cup that's already full... of Jaryn! And in one, I'm selecting his head from a claw machine. Oh! And we could not figure the damn machine out... a nice Korean Everland worker helped us out, and came back to give us a stuffed heart that said "LOVE" on it. We were rewarded for being foreign idiots. :) As of the time the stickers popped out of the machine, Jaryn officially became my boyfriend. *stamp noise*

9. The weekend after Korean reeducation camp/teacher training, I went to Daegu/Gyeongsan, because that's where, for some stupid reason, Jaryn lives (it's like 3 hours away.) The highlights of this trip were visiting the Daegu Museum, watching Jaryn eat butterfly larva (yeah, how appetizing does that look?), and getting incredibly lost in downtown Daegu.

8. Chuseok is the Korean Thanksgiving. Everyone gets a week off of school, except for Sabrina, who had to teach a couple of days of English camp. I am using this as an intro to update you on school. It's fine. *shrug.*

7. Ah, number 7 is the trip to Daegu/Gyeongsan/Shit City that I just returned from. I left on Friday and got back yesterday. The highlights of this trip include Canadian food, a freaking Bloody Mary, public spooning between Asian/non-Asian middle-aged men, salted soap, finding hideous presents for Callie, getting a balloon sword from an Asian cell-phone clown, drinking tequila out of a plastic bag, accidentally clawing Jaryn's face while yelling about fruit salad, and numbers 6.5, 4, and 2.

6. We went to the bus terminal (bus-ah terminar in Engrish) on Sunday to procure my ticket back to YongIn. I have never ever had an issue with bus tickets. I got there early, and the lady informed me that they were sold out. Excuse me? I had to frantically (pranticarry in Engrish) phone July and the principal... I had to miss school yesterday! I was freaking out, because Sabrina doesn't do that, and I was worried, and then I looked at Jaryn and he asked, "You have to stay another night?" with the biggest grin ever and it was ok.

5. Maybe I should just get it over with and write a "Top 5834 Reasons Jaryn is Super" blog, but instead, I'll keep throwing in references. This Saturday, we went to the Daegu Colorful Festival on the riverbank in Daegu. It wasn't bad at all... we got free beer and got our picture taken by a random Asian man, blah blah blah. The best part was when we were going by the accordion band (I was going to try to describe, but I'll just throw in this picture) and Jaryn grabbed me. We have a joke about how "our song" is this nightmarish accordion disaster we heard in a cab once, and in the interest of being romantic and maintaining our accordion affinity, we danced. Yes, two Americans slow danced along the riverbank, to accordion music, while a kazillion Koreans rushed past us. It was wonderful.

4. Jaryn bought me yarn. I think ya'll get what a huge deal that is.

3. This one makes the list because it is so excellently awful. Have I mentioned that my principal is a total creepshow? He invites me to things and suggests that I come hang out in his office, but I am a pretty decent actress and am good at excusing myself. Last Wednesday, as we were riding home, he told me that I was coming to dinner with himself and Mr. Soo (I know! I call him a boy named Soo in my head). Oh! Ok? So we go to this restaurant where the principal informs me that I will eat chicken. Um no? No I won't. He seems to think chicken is a vegetable, like ham. Anyway... he and Mr. Soo drink a bunch of soju, the principal tells me he loves me, attempts to do a "love shot" with me (you know how people intertwine their arms to drink champagne at weddings? that thing) and touched my knee. I declined the soju, looked nervously horrified at the "rove comment," flat out declined the love shot, and backed away into the aisle of the restaurant at the knee touching. I also declined his offer to go to his house and drink more by running down the street. Seriously? I don't even know how to deal with this. I will ask July.

2. Back to happier stuff... I think it's become clear that Korea is a strange and wonderful place, where normal behavior means something a little different from American normal behavior. One huge example of this is "couple wear." In America, a boy will usually change if you show up at his house wearing something similar to what he picked out. That's ok. It would be weird to match, right? WRONG. Koreans love love love couple shit. The either wear the same shirt, or the same shirt in different colors, or shirts that "connect." It was pretty funny when Jaryn, attempting to be like a Korean boy, grabbed my handbag and carried it for me on our first date, and I should have been expecting this, but.... wait for it.... Jaryn and I have couple scarves. Yeah, I know. Just shut up. I made them, and they are adorable. Also, in the interest of full Korean cultural immersion, we have procured couple phone charms (a little girl and boy with funny faces that have magnets attached, so when our phones get close... awwwww!) and couple socks. No, I know. *shhhh!* We're just being Korean!!! Also, he will buy pointy shoes and I will hide my face and emit a high-pitched giggle when he speaks to me in public.

1. Sabrina really likes the following: Rollercoasters, German beer, french fries, bubbles, glitter, cat ears, light sabers, Jaryn, snowcones, tequila, sunshine, American-themed anything, Asian children, parades, laughing, driving mechanical llamas, balloons, holding hands, baby animals, Korean-speaking gargoyles, and watching a hot American boy eat a hamburger. Last Saturday, which was Korean Thanksgiving, I got to be thankful for all that, because it all happened in one day at Everland! Yeah!!! Ya'll thought I loved Everland before? Holy crap. That was the best day ever.

TaDa! I know that I am being a little obnoxious, and that reading this is probably the equivalent of chasing a pixie stick and cake with Vanilla Coke, but if you're reading this, you probably know that it takes A LOT for me to get excited about something like, I don't know, a boy. :P Thanks for listening! I am giving you guys a Care Bear Stare right now!

Today's Lesson: Have I not made it clear that you need to know what your shirt says before you put it on? I was going to stop you and shake you, teen girl at the bus stop with the shirt that said NEW VINTAGE MODE AND DOGGIE STYLE.

You WILL like kimchi....you WILL like kimchi...

Good evening, loves. Happy Wednesday. This Wednesday is especially happy because I am newly free from GEPIK Teacher Training, or, as I like to call it, Korean ReEducation Camp; we were locked in a giant compound, fed rice, and forced to watch movies about how great Korea is.

Every native speaker who comes to Korea to teach and who is employed by the public school system must attend training/orientation. That makes sense, right? Yeah, and then you go, and then nothing makes sense.

Because I spent the entirety of college learning to teach English and have a few years of teaching experience *waves at Butte Central~ Hi, guys! Go Maroons!* a lot of my sessions at this GEPIK thing were redundant. That means that instead of learning basic classroom management with hungover 22 -year-olds, I was free to think about other things, make a few observations, and form some opinions.

Ten Revelations from ReEducation Camp:

10. If you want someone to believe you, don't engage in too much hyperbole. If you tell me that kimchi is good for me, I'll probably believe you, because it's a vegetable and there's some medical proof that it can reduce one's risk for some nasty things. But if you tell me that kimchi cures some chickens of swine flu and can reduce my risk of colon cancer by about 80%, I'm going to think it's bullshit, which smells only slightly better than kimchi.

9. I've made it pretty clear how awesome my coteacher July is, right? Right. It turns out that she's extra awesome. Lots of the native teachers have awful coteachers. Awful = makes you write 5 page lesson plans 3 months in advance, refuses to translate anything into Korean for the kids, and does yoga in the back of the classroom while you attempt to educate 40 screaming 8-year-olds. I am a really lucky girl to be graced with July.

8. Did you know that ham is a vegetable? It is in Korea, apparently. Their definition of vegetarian is drastically different than mine.

7. No matter where you go or how old you get, some people still think we're all in high school.

6. Some people are just not meant to be teachers.

5. The Korean language isn't as difficult as one would think. The writing, which I still think looks like crop circles, is actually very simple. And if you're unsure how to pronounce something, you can just mumble in a high pitched sort of whine and throw "sey-yo" at the end of a sentence, and Koreans will hear what they wanted you to say. This week, I learned how to say "Please be quiet and pay attention," "Where is the _____ subway station/bus stop," and "I am so pretty." Two out of those three would have been helpful to know when I first got here.

4. Speaking of that... does it make sense to have someone go to orientation when they've been somewhere for 3 and 1/2 months already, and have settled in rather nicely? I was rather envious of the people who had only been here for 2 weeks. But I'm sure there's something to be sad about learning Korean culture by having to cut up your own squid.

3. Hanbok is beautiful. It's the traditional Korean dress, and it looks like this--->

2. South Africans have a pretty badass accent.

1. Friends can get you through anything. When I got extra frustrated this week, it was nice to be able to commiserate with Cecilia, who had gone through the same training a few months earlier, and to talk to Jaryn about actual teaching, among other things. Speaking of Sabrina being lucky, I have managed to find a guy who is American, charming, intelligent, damn handsome, and also an "actual" teacher. Assah! Hooray for that.

So... this isn't the usual witty and clever brog post, because I am really tired and a bit of a grump. I would have preferred to be in the classroom these past few days, but I did, apparently, learn a few things inadvertently. Also, I made some new friends. Yay! Stay tuned for an update soon... am heading to Daegu/GyoeongSan/Busan this weekend. Bye, ya'll!

Today's Lesson: If the people around you groan every time you raise your hand to offer input or ask a question, maybe you're a little on the obnoxious side, and should take that as a clue to stop whining all the time. Just a thought.

ASSAH!

Well, howdy! How was your week? Really? Mine was awesome too. Mine was beyond awesome.
Check it out: because I am American, I get to make up new rules and not adhere to old ones. I hereby decree that a week is now more than 7 days. Tada! Therefore, I am allowed to talk about Saturday, September 5th, through today, September 13th, as one week. It was the best week ever. We're gonna take this one chronologically.

Ten events in the past "week" that make it awesome:
10. Saturday part 1: Anusha and I heard that an Oktoberfest was happening in Seoul. Because we are fun and thirsty, we were all over that. We were so excited that we got on a bus to Seodaemung without checking any information first. We showed up at the Seoul Grand Hilton at around 1 o'clock, only to find that Oktoberfest was to start at 6:30. Well, shit. While wandering around the fancy-pants hotel and almost accidentally attending a Korean stranger's wedding, we stumbled upon Mr. Ashley Cheeseman. He is British and very nice, and he was wearing lederhosen. He gave us 20% off our entrance fees, and the director of the event addressed us as "the queens of Oktoberfest!"
9. Saturday part 2: We were very concerned about the presence of Cass (super assy yet ubiquitous Korean beer) at such an esteemed event, and I recall threatening to Anusha that I would punch, in the face, anyone who was drinking that instead of German beer. I am charming. I ate pretzels and drank Beck's and totally cheated in the nail-hammering contest (thanks, Mr. Cheeseman, for not disqualifying me,) and Anusha and I made some new friends with the lovely young men from the US Air Force who were seated next to us. Hi, boys.
8. Sunday: On Sunday, I began crafting wedding presents for my co-teacher (she's getting married this Saturday!!!) and put the finishing touches on the song that she commissioned for the occasion. Next Saturday, I will be singing and playing a song that I wrote for her and her lucky fiance. *freaking out breathing really fast oh my god*
7. Monday: While getting ready to leave school on Monday, I received an email regarding some Korean tv thing. It was happening that night in Hongdae (like an hour and a half away) and I was tired so I said "meh" and went about my business. Then Cecilia called. She is the biggest fan of K-Pop I've ever met, and that's saying a lot, because I hang out with 12-year-old Korean girls all day. We ended up going to Hongdae, and here's why: Korea's version of American Idol, called "SuperStar K" was being filmed in Club OverSound. For some reason, the producers wanted lots of foreigners there. If you want Westerners to come to your club, it's smart to offer us free drinks. Nice work. Cecilia and I got right to the front and over the course of a couple hours, we got to see the final 8 performers, 3 ridiculously sassy men dancing in tiny sailor outfits, and an incredible little drag queen. We weren't sure if we were really going to be on TV, but.... (update occurs in Number 2 - Friday )
6. Tuesday: On Tuesday I cleaned my little apt thoroughly and took a super long shower. Beautiful.
5. Wednesday part 1: Schools around here have what they call "open classes." That means that teachers in our disctrict can go visit other schools on certain days, and watch a lesson and offer input. This is brilliant. It's especially brilliant for English teachers. On Wednesday, July and I went to Ho Bub school (or Hobo School, as I like to call it) and watched a great class. Then a bunch of us, Westerners and Koreans, talked about the lesson and procedures. I love my job. Also, I made a new teacher friend!
4. Wednesday part 2: One of the Gang of Foreigners in YongIn (or GFY) left to go to Australia! He'll be back in another part of Korea in a couple of months, but it made sense for us to have a leaving extravaganza. Anusha and I bought him Rice Tards, Mother's Finger cookies, Crunky Nude Chocolate Balls, and some scary ass socks with a screaming Korean on them. We didn't want him leave without a bunch of stuff to keep him creeped out.
3. Thursday: I had coffee with July and the kindergarten teacher and another teacher. Yeah!
2. Friday: In not so awesome news, I had a horrific allergy attack at school! I think gingko trees might be the new lilacs. I had to leave early! :( I went home and took a Benadryl and then drank lots of coffee so that I could go.... TO SUPERSTAR K! This time, we went to the actual filming, in the actual studio, and it was awesome! They showed the segment of the Hongdae night, and SuperStar K turned into the Cecilia and Sabrina show. I'm pretty easy to spot, what with the or-an-jee hair and badass dance moves. They had cameras on us again (we were front row! Again!) at this taping, so as soon as it hits YouTube, ya'll are going to see us on Korean TV!
1. Saturday & Sunday: So... I try not to get overly personal on this here brog, because I'm not sure who's reading it, really. But sometimes it's fun to peek, metaphorically, into someone's window with your binoculars. So I'll share just a little bit. I um, met up with a friend this weekend. We went all around Seoul (had a Canadian beer & Indian food in Itaewon, walked through the Pagoda Garden at the Seoul National Museum, attended a singing performance in Hongdae, ate romantic pizza and had chianti, and visited some Zen place.) I am totally stalling. Um, then I blushed a lot and I'm blushing right now and we don't really need to talk about anything else, right? Ok, right!

I love my life.

Today's Lesson: The pizza place in Hongdae listed "Rocket Pizza" as one of their menu selections. It is not advisable to ask the waiter if that comes with extra robots.